One (Illogical) Direction.

I doubt the pop band One Direction wrote this song, I doubt even more that whoever wrote it intended for it to be a standard for logical validity. However, the song is so pervasive in our culture today and it doesn’t seem to be going away, so I can’t just let it fly. Furthermore, one of the most basic and fundamental features of being human is rationality and the ability to communicate in a valid manner that follows the most basic universal laws of logic. And apparently One Direction has declared war on that very capacity.

You may say, “But John, its just a silly pop song for the youths, we shouldn’t worry them with the rules of logic and rational thinking.” I think I’ll let Isaac Watts respond:

It is of infinite importance therefore, in our younger years, to be taught both the value and the practice of conceiving clearly and reasoning right; for when we are grown up to the middle of life, or past it, it is no wonder that we should not learn good reasoning, any more than that an ignorant clown should not be able to learn fine language, dancing or a courtly behavior, when his rustic airs have grown up with him till the age of forty. (Logic, 315)

In the haunting, inescapable hit single “What Makes You Beautiful,” the members of One Direction collectively put forward the argument that some unnamed girl is in fact very aesthetically pleasing. Obviously this in itself is not new; the current music scene is full of almost identical expressions. The thing that sticks out about this song is that even its title promises to give a causal explanation for this one girl’s beauty (or are all the members of the band singing to separate girls?). So, since One Direction is saying it is going to put forth a case for its conclusion, I couldn’t help but examine their reasoning.

In the first verse we learn that there is this girl who is insecure, which Liam finds surprising because she clearly draws attention to herself effortlessly (which from an objective standpoint could be either good or bad). Furthermore it is pointed out that its not necessary that she cover herself up with cosmetics since being the way she is is enough (enough for what? I’m not sure). Then Harry summarizes the situation for us: “Everyone else in the room can see it, Everyone else but you.”

Then the male quintet breaks into the chorus where the real logic problem is. The chorus pretty much just reinstates that this girl is beautiful and it is evident she is not aware of this fact. Then all rationality and any resemblance of coherent thinking flies out the window when they claim:

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,You don't know, Oh oh,You don't know you're beautiful, Oh oh,That's what makes you beautiful

So there are two propositions that these Backstreet Boys Wanna-Bes have put forward.

Lets look at Proposition 1:

In order to be ignorant of something, that something must be true. Knowledge is Justified True Belief. Furthermore, to say someone “does not know something,” you are affirming what they don’t know is true. So “You are Beautiful” has to be the case for “You Don’t know You’re Beautiful” to be a meaningful statement. In other words, ignorance of a fact requires it to indeed be a fact. Of course right? Yes, of course, even One Direction got this much right.

Ok, now lets look at Proposition 2: 

No matter how shallow the song is, the additional line “That’s what makes you beautiful” creates the fallacious proposition. It is most problematic since this one line is actually the whole point of the song given the title and main focus on her ignorance. Now One Direction is making another causal statement about the girl’s beauty: specifically that her beauty is caused by her lack of knowledge that she is beautiful. The truth is that the lack of knowledge of a proposition cannot be contrived to support or prove that proposition.

So, whats the logical problem?

By putting forward both of these propositions, what Liam, Harry, Niall, Zayn, and Louis (yes, those are apparently real names) have done is required that both terms a) “You are Beautiful” and b) “You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful” serve as both causes and effects in this song. Having terms a) and b) serves as both cause and effect at the same time sounds like something familiar:  

Circular reasoning occurs when the reasoner begins with what he or she is trying to end up with.

So what One Direction has actually done by putting forth proposition 1 and 2, which requires both term a) and term b) to function as both causes and effects. This looks like:

In conclusion, I have two options for One Direction to right this odious irrationality:

  1) Amend this section of the chorus of the song to be:

                        Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,

You don't know, Oh oh,

You don't know you're beautiful, Oh oh,

            And that contributes to the uniqueness of your aesthetic value.

          

                                 OR

   2) Amend your band name to "One Circular Direction."

I know Im not the only one this stuff irritates. So, what are some popular songs that get under the skin of your rationality?

Additional: 

•            I’ve been perturbed by this unreasonable song for several months, however I found out that Stephen Colbert beat me to the punch making fun airing a different criticism that according to their song, if the girl was to hear the song, she would become aware of her beauty and then simultaneously lose that beauty since her ignorance was causing her beauty. Well done Colbert (jump ahead to around 1:00).
•       Even if they did hear my criticism, I am sure One Direction would just reply: “You got it wrong, To prove I'm right, I put it in a song,” which is possibly a new fallacy: Appeal to Pop Music.